for Daniel may you rest in peace

for Daniel may you rest in peace

On February 19th my nephew the first born of my sister passed away in his sleep from multiple organ failure.

You will be buried the day before my mother's birthday.

I have been numb enraged and angry with God.

Has he not given the Wojtal family enough death to last them more than lifetime?

I thought as long as I make it past 53 we're good.

I just turned 53 in September.

He broke the rules.

You're not supposed to take a man at 37 years old before he's had a wife some children old age you're not supposed to think.

Just when I thought that we were safe I forgot about our kids.

One never wants to think of their child dying let alone one of your nieces or nephews.

You always want to imagine them as old having lived many a decade.

It has been a long time since I've had a death this close.

It always seems to be okay when they're older than you but not when they are younger.

You remember seeing them grow up.

You feel them kick in the womb and grow and then you welcome them in and you love them and you'll do anything for them.

You would go as far as to kill in order to protect them.

And as you get in your older years you still look at them even though they've gotten in there here as kids.

I hate the cruel joke that God puts on us.

You bring him into this world created of love if you love them and it grows.

And then they review or them from you.

It doesn't matter who goes you're apart.